How to Help Someone Who Picks Their Nails

When someone you care about picks their nails, it's natural to want to help while feeling unsure about the best way to offer support. Understanding nail picking (onychotillomania) as a body-focused repetitive behavior (BFRB) that affects approximately 1 in 20 people is an important first step in providing meaningful assistance.

Nail picking often occurs due to stress, anxiety, or sensory triggers. Many people experience tension before picking and temporary relief afterward, making the behavior challenging to control without proper support and understanding. The impact extends beyond physical effects, affecting self-esteem and social relationships. Many individuals feel shame or embarrassment about their picking, leading them to hide their hands or avoid situations where others might notice.

Practical Ways to Offer Support

Supporting someone with nail picking starts with compassion and understanding. Here are practical ways to help:

• Keep gentle nail care supplies readily available: nail files, clippers, moisturizer, and antibiotic ointment for healing.

• Create a "crisis kit" with stress balls, fidget toys, and other sensory items that provide alternative outlets for tension.

• Offer understanding without judgment when your loved one wants to talk.

• Celebrate small victories without drawing attention to setbacks.

Caring for Skin and Nails

It is also important to protect their skin and nails from damage. Encourage gentle wound care using warm water and mild soap rather than harsh antiseptics. Watch for signs of infection, such as increased redness, warmth, or swelling, and support them in seeking medical attention if these occur. Regular moisturizing helps prevent dry skin that might trigger picking. Some people use clear, strengthening nail polish as a protective barrier, while others benefit from trimming nails short and smooth to prevent catching.

Professional Support and Treatment

If nail picking causes significant distress or physical damage, encourage working with healthcare providers who understand BFRBs. Many people benefit from cognitive behavioral therapy or habit reversal training, especially when combined with support from understanding family and friends. Professional support might include working with mental health providers familiar with BFRBs, consulting dermatologists about skin and nail care, or connecting with support groups that offer practical strategies.

Understanding boundaries is crucial when supporting someone with nail picking. Some days, they may want to talk about their experiences; other times, they may prefer distraction or quiet companionship. Following their lead while maintaining a supportive presence makes a significant difference. Creating a non-judgmental environment helps them feel safe discussing their challenges and seeking help when needed.

Finding Community Support

Building connections with others who understand BFRBs can provide valuable perspective and encouragement. Support groups create spaces where individuals with BFRBs and their loved ones can find community and share experiences. These connections remind everyone involved that they're not alone in navigating these challenges.

Whether you're supporting someone who is nail picking or experiencing it yourself, remember that positive change is possible—each small step toward understanding and management matters. With patience, compassion, and proper support, many people find ways to reduce nail picking's impact on their lives. The TLC Foundation's resources, professional directory, and support groups are here to help individuals and their loved ones build a foundation for lasting positive change.

Remember that recovery isn't about achieving perfection - it's about finding ways to manage the behavior while maintaining an active and meaningful life. Your consistent support and understanding can make a meaningful difference in someone's journey toward healing and recovery.