There is no one way to cope with your child's BFRB medical diagnosis. You have two options on this journey: let the tide pull you down, or let a friend throw you a buoy to help you, by getting connected to resources through TLC. It is also important to remember that a BFRB is a medical diagnosis. It does not define your child's ability to live a full, productive life. You are not alone. Your family is not alone. Your child is not alone. There is a community full of people who are on the same journey. Reach out, get connected. You've got this, and we've got you!

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For Parents

How do I explain my child's appearance to friends and family?

Many parents find that explaining their child's appearance to close friends and family is essential, since these are people that your child will see often. Start with the facts - define body-focused repetitive behaviors and how they affect your child. Remind your friends and family members that your child's BFRB is a medical diagnosis that doesn't define them, it's only one part of them. People with BFRBs lead full and productive lives. They attend college, hold down employment, get married, and have children. BFRBs are not self-harm and are not a result of trauma. Parents don't cause BFRBs. People with BFRBs are worthy of love and support, just like anyone else.

Share health education resources, like TLC's website, www.bfrb.org. Encourage ongoing conversations with family members and answer questions to help them better understand.

Your journey is not unique, and you are not alone.

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How do I respond to people asking questions about my child/staring at them?

First and foremost, make sure your child feels safe. Then smile and make it a no-big-deal. Our world is filled with insensitive individuals who don't quite know how to interact when encountering a situation that makes them uncomfortable.

Remember, disclosing your child's BFRB is their decision, not yours. It's up to them if they want to tell anyone, let alone a stranger, about their BFRB.

Making sure your child's emotional and physical well-being is protected during uncomfortable encounters in public helps them know they can engage in community settings without fear, which in turn helps them participate more fully in community as their authentic selves.

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Will my child ever have a relationship, go to prom, go away to college?

A BFRB medical diagnosis is a label that provides individuals with access to medical and educational supports to reach their full potential. That medical diagnosis does not define one's life. People with BFRBs live full and productive lives. They participate in arts and sports activities, are engaged in their community, attend college, pursue meaningful employment, get married, and have children. Encouraging your child to live fully into themselves from a young age despite their medical diagnosis gives them courage to explore who they are, as a person, first.

Are there support groups or places to take my child where other people will understand us?

Yes! The TLC Foundation has compiled a list of BFRB support groups, which you can access below. In addition, TLC offers health education and community programs to connect, grow, and learn together. This is a great way for both you and your child to find support, along with attending BFRB Awareness Week, annually on October 1-7, along with TLC's Conference.

Find support groups here

What role do parents play in the treatment process?

Parents play an important role in the treatment process for BFRBs. Your most important role is to educate yourself about BFRBs in order to be your child's best advocate and find a therapeutic match.

It's also important that you listen to your child's feedback on a therapist to gauge treatment efficacy. What's working and what's not? What therapeutic intervention needs your support? Where can you be most helpful? Are there opportunities for you to meet with the therapist to gain insight on how best to support your child?

Children do best in treatment when their parents are supportive and loving, without adding pressure, judgment, or expectations. Refrain from telling your child to stop pulling, picking, biting, or scolding them when they act on their behaviors. This only leads to increased behaviors and emotional shut down.

Keeping the lines of communication open with your child is important to their overall physical health and emotional well-being.