There is no one way to cope with your child's BFRB medical diagnosis. You have two options on this journey: let the tide pull you down, or let a friend throw you a buoy to help you, by getting connected to resources through TLC. It is also important to remember that a BFRB is a medical diagnosis. It does not define your child's ability to live a full, productive life. You are not alone. Your family is not alone. Your child is not alone. There is a community full of people who are on the same journey. Reach out, get connected. You've got this, and we've got you!

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For Parents

Did I do something wrong? Is this my fault?

It's a big myth that parents are responsible. No, your child's BFRB is not your fault. You are not to blame for your child's BFRB. Your child's BFRB is not a reflection of you as a parent. BFRBs are caused by a multitude of things, such as temperament, environment, age of onset, etc. Even if you personally struggle with a BFRB yourself, it is still not your fault.

Will my child "grow out" of their BFRB?

This is a hard question to answer. We don't know why some children are able to move on from having a BFRB and not be affected again, while others struggle. What we do know is that learning to pay attention to the needs of the body, even after the behavior has stopped, is the most effective way to manage. Some clinical evidence shows that toddlers or infants who have a BFRB (known as "baby trich") may stop the behavior as they grow and develop; however, this is not always the case. Usually, BFRBs which typically begin at the age of 12 are chronic disorders, that may wax and wane over time.

How do I ensure my child will not start pulling/picking from other parts of their body?

Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to ensure this won't happen. It is not uncommon for people with BFRBs to pick/pull from other areas of their body, so don't be alarmed if your child starts to do so. It's very hard to stop pulling/picking from an area once you start, so don't expect your child to automatically stop. The best thing you can do is offer your support and unconditional love.

Do not scold your child or punish them for their BFRBs. Your child's BFRB is not something they can control, and it is not their fault. It's not your fault either. BFRBs are not self-harm. BFRBs are not caused by trauma.

It is critically important that you keep the lines of communication open with your child in order to support their overall physical health and emotional well-being. The more informed you become about BFRBs, the better advocate you can be for your child.

I'm an adult who has a BFRB. Does that mean my child will get a BFRB?

Research shows that some people may have an inherited predisposition to skin picking or hair pulling. Several studies have shown a higher number of BFRBs in immediate family members of persons with skin picking or hair pulling than would be expected in the general population. However, this does not mean your child will develop a BFRB; there are a number of other factors that are involved, such as temperament, environment, age of onset, and family stress factors.

Are BFRBs harmful for my child?

Although BFRBs may, in some forms, be relatively benign, when they are done in excess they can cause serious medical problems. For the subset of individuals who swallow pulled hairs (a BFRB called trichophagia), gastrointestinal distress or even digestive blockage called a trichobezoar (or hairball) can occur, sometimes requiring surgical removal. This is a very serious medical condition that may require immediate action. It is important to see a doctor if your child eats their hair. Regarding skin picking, it is important to keep wounds clean and treat them with antibiotic cream to prevent infection. In some cases, frequently practiced BFRBs may result in repetitive motion injuries.

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