Sharing about your BFRB can be liberating. It can lighten some of the shame, isolation, and desperation that we feel. This allows us to create a network of support for ourselves, a group of individuals who will serve as our companions, our fellow warriors, our cheering squad, as we start on our journeys toward healing.

You always have the right to choose the time, place, and person that you share this important information with. Make sure you give them the TLC website, www.bfrb.org, as a resource they can look to for accurate information—so that they can support you better, and also provide support for themselves.

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Some of the unhelpful people in our lives will continue being unhelpful. There is always a chance that the people we share our secret with will not react the way that we want. Remember that this usually has more to do with them than you—usually their fear, which can make people narrow-minded. Don’t waste time on people who bring you down—fill your days with those who lift you up.

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Most of all, know that you should make the choices that are best for you when deciding whether or not to tell people about your BFRB. Sharing can be rewarding but, if you're not there yet, then there is absolutely no pressure to do so. Do what's best for you!

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Teens

Am I supposed to feel as anxious as I do?

Anxiety is extremely common among people with BFRBs. The difficult part is that anxiety worsens BFRBs, and BFRBs worsen anxiety; this creates a vicious cycle that can seem nearly impossible to break. But the good news is that anxiety is treatable, both through therapy and medications, and by implementing day-to-day strategies.

Will I always hate my appearance?

Most people with BFRBs experience some sort of discomfort related to how they look. We may have a bald patch or a new scab, and oftentimes we feel certain that everyone notices and thinks we are weird or gross or ugly. This is normal. But here's the truth: every single person has insecurities about how he or she looks.

Will it become easier to live with my BFRBs?

Yes, it will. The truth is that, currently, most people with BFRBs will deal with their behaviors throughout their lives. Many people with BFRBs develop treatment plans for themselves (often with the help of a therapist), incorporating strategies for managing urges into their day-to-day lives. The more time you invest in finding good coping strategies, the more you will be able to get your BFRB under control. For some, this means bringing fidget toys to school or to work. For others, it means going to sleep with conditioner in their hair to create a barrier to pulling. Most people with BFRBs experience relief from connecting with others with BFRBs, whether it's during BFRB Awareness Week, on social media groups, or in a support group. Shame and isolation are often the most challenging parts of BFRBs, the biggest obstacles in the way of feeling happy. Getting involved with TLC health education and community programs is a great way to build support on your journey.

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How can I help my parents understand my BFRBs?

One of the hardest parts of having a BFRB, especially at the beginning, is helping our parents understand what we are going through. Our parents only want what’s best for us, and they’re trying to learn about BFRBs too. Sometimes they may not say the right thing out of worry, like “just stop.”

Why do I always feel so alone?

Every person with a BFRB has felt this way at some point. Feeling alone is completely natural, because the truth is that most have not experienced hair pulling, skin picking, or other BFRBs. What's more, many people do not know about BFRBs, and even more do not understand them. It can be tempting to look at other people, people who can walk out of their houses in the morning without makeup or go swimming without thinking twice and think that we are completely on our own. But this isn't true. At least 2 in 50 people have BFRBs, which means that you probably know and come across people just like you every day. Likely, those people are also experiencing a silent struggle, feeling isolated, believing that someone like you doesn't exist. Even people who don't struggle with BFRBs have their own secret battles—our feelings of aloneness, ironically, are what make us all the same.

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